Non-Military Trauma Veterans - Rebuilding Lives & Storytelling

Now it’s 1:25 am, and I want to see how long it will take to pour out what’s left on my chest. This is it for me. For at least twelve years, I’m dedicating this season to my passion for telling stories. Years ago, I would blog my life away on Facebook. My private accounts are closed because, for some odd reason, I’m held to a standard I never agreed to meet anyone’s false expectations of me. Put it this way… I know trauma firsthand, and the shit is mind-blowing. Having to pick up pieces of your life to mend yourself back together, just for more pieces to shatter before even healing from the last life-altering experience. I know trauma. Then my diagnosis didn’t help. Trauma. So now instead of falling asleep from boredom on dating apps, I’m on this app to share myself. How I feel about people being more invested in me than my work. And if I’m not interesting enough, then my work is moot. I tell the men that I’m an author. Then share my new site, camilledford.com, that I absolutely love. Thanks, Charlotte. They’ll pledge to purchase Articles of Commitment: The Bylaws of Modern Romance. Then they learn about Karma. 🤣 But my job title is Editor-in-Chief. My face turns beet red when they ask what my specialty is. I explain that I’m a journalist, own a magazine, and am literally winging it as I go. Why? Because people in the industry aren’t interested in mentoring me. They’re just watching to see if I’ll fail. The men grow intrigued. Then I tell them the current site is veteranexcellemce.org. They instantly go to it. It never fails when they ask, “Are you a veteran?” Hell yeah, I’m a veteran. Just not military. I’m a veteran at experiencing and overcoming trauma. That’s not the conversation to have with perfect strangers, though. Honestly, all I know is that I wanted my own platform to write stories. I’m not into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I’m not into trends. I can’t stand politics. There’s a population that’s underrepresented and deserves to tell their own stories instead of having them told about them. Of all the reasons I have to start the magazine, the main reason is because I want people to tell their own stories. Not the polished version. Not the version somebody else thinks is more marketable. Not the version that makes everybody else comfortable. Their story. I know what it feels like to have pieces of your life shattered and then have to figure out who you are with what’s left. I know what it feels like to rebuild and then have life come along and knock something else loose. I’m so curious about veterans. I want to know what they survived. What they built. What they lost. What they learned. What they never told anybody. I want to know what makes them get up and keep going. That’s what this season of my life is about. I’m giving myself at least twelve years to do this. To write. To publish. To ask better questions. To tell stories that deserve to be told. At 1:44 in the morning, that’s all I really know.