Founders Who Relocated With Kids - Post-Move Family Strain

I used to say you wouldn’t catch me dead living in New Jersey. Then I moved there. Spoiler: I love it. But this move has been one of the hardest my family has gone through. I once moved across the ocean for love. In 2009, I moved to the U.S. as a newlywed. My husband’s career was here, so we built our future in NY. I left behind a successful career I loved and arrived with no idea what I would do next. I was almost 30. Starting over professionally. Working in a language that wasn’t mine. Barely knowing anyone. My husband was moving forward in his career. I was trying to figure out mine. That dynamic was hard on our marriage. When both careers matter, but one person feels they sacrificed theirs for the other, resentment can creep in quickly. Not recommended for the weak :) Then last summer, we moved our family 15 miles to NJ. Somehow, that was harder. Relocating with kids is different. I loved our life in NY. Our 24th-floor apartment. The Manhattan skyline. The doorman. The subway two blocks away. Our family had moved to NJ and we wanted our kids close to family. We needed more space. And as high school got closer, the NYC path felt more complicated. Tenafly offered great public schools and community. Only after leaving NY did I realize what we had been missing. My daughter, never into sports, suddenly begged me to play lacrosse. I have officially become a suburban mom AKA unpaid Uber driver. Do I enjoy the driving? Not so sure. Is it worth it? Yes. Winter was brutal. I was not prepared for snow shoveling. But then summer came. Pool parties and a municipal pool that feels like a kibbutz pool, probably because everyone around me is speaking Hebrew. But this is not a “we moved to the suburbs and lived happily ever after” post. We underestimated what this move would do to our kids. For one of them, the transition was far harder than we imagined. And when one child struggles, the whole family struggles. My husband now spends close to three hours a day commuting for work. We moved our kids closer to family, but in some ways, farther from their father. Before we moved, a friend warned me: “You’re going to feel poor.” I laughed. I have everything I need. Then I started visiting the post-exit mansions. Huge houses. Backyards that look like resorts. We upgraded to more space. But suddenly, the reference point changed. And what I think about most is my kids. What happens when this level of wealth becomes everyday life? What does that do to a child’s definition of “enough”? And still, I believe the move was right. The biggest thing I’ve learned from relocating twice: A move can be right for a family and still be incredibly hard for the people inside it. Sometimes, you only understand the real cost after the boxes are unpacked. This is the prologue to Founder Relocation Diaries: What happens after the move? A series about the parts we usually don’t talk about. I’m starting with my story. Now I want to hear yours.