Partners in Long-Term Marriage - Exhaustion When Spouse's Therapy Fails

Sometimes the problem isn’t that you’re asking for too much. It’s that you’re asking the wrong thing to change. In this week’s #AskTheTherapist in The New York Times, a reader wanted to know whether she could tell her 87-year-old husband to stop going to therapy after years of seeing no real change in his behavior. But beneath that question was another one: What do I do with my exhaustion, my resentment, and the household responsibilities I’ve carried for so long? Those are real problems. But stopping his therapy may not solve them. A more useful question might be: What support would make this marriage more livable now? A different budget? Outside help? A clearer division of tasks? A more honest conversation about what therapy gives him, even if it doesn’t give her the change she wants? At this stage of a long marriage, acceptance doesn’t mean pretending the hard parts aren’t hard. It means deciding where change is still possible, and where peace may come from building around what isn’t. Read my full response: https://lnkd.in/eKx5W6CU Submit your question: [email redacted]