Spouses of Health-Neglecting Partners - Protecting Savings & Health

When people tell me that they hope their partner will change in a certain way, here’s what I say: “Date reality—not potential.” In this week’s #AskTheTherapist, a reader’s husband neglects basic medical and dental care—leading to two hospitalizations—and won’t share in saving for their retirement. Facing reality, I say, looks like this: “Your husband isn’t only neglecting his own well-being; he’s also neglecting yours. He’s refusing to see that when something in a relationship has shared consequences, it’s no longer just a personal decision.” So the pivot isn’t: How do I convince him to change? It’s: Since he won’t, what do I need to do to protect myself? Share this week’s column with someone who needs it. 🔗 Read my advice in The New York Times: https://bit.ly/4bYJ3Bo ✉️ Submit your question: [email redacted] 🔔 Subscribe to the column: https://bit.ly/4mZtJaN