Adults Raised by African Parents - Physical Discipline & Toxicity
Looking to anonymously interview people about navigating the normalisation of physical discipline and toxic behaviour in African households for a journalism piece
Hey everyone,
I’m a Master’s student in Journalism, and I am currently working on a deeply personal and systemic piece focusing on the darker sides of traditional African parenting, but on the normalisation of physical discipline (beatings), hyper-criticism, and toxic family dynamics.
As someone from the community, I know how incredibly difficult this topic is to talk about. In many of our households, the phrase "I beat you because I love you" or "I sacrificed everything for you, so you cannot complain" is used to justify behaviour that, outside the home, is recognised as deeply harmful. We are often conditioned to shield our parents from criticism out of loyalty, guilt, or respectability politics.
I want to write a piece that looks at the reality of this generational trauma. My goal is not to demonise African parents or create a one-dimensional caricature of our culture for a Western gaze. Instead, I want to look at why this cycle perpetuates—how colonial violence, structural displacement, and a lack of mental health resources heavily influenced how our parents learned to cope and control—while giving a voice to the generation currently trying to break these cycles and heal.
Who I’m looking to speak with:
Anyone raised by African parents (in the diaspora or on the continent) who has experienced severe physical discipline, emotional manipulation, or toxic expectations, and wants to share how it has impacted their adulthood, mental health, or view of family.
People who are actively trying to break the cycle (perhaps as parents themselves, or through therapy) and navigating the guilt that comes with drawing boundaries with their family.
Your Safety & Privacy is Paramount:
I understand how sensitive this is. All interviews will be strictly anonymous. I will use pseudonyms (fake names) and alter minor, non-essential background details so that nothing can be traced back to you or your family.
We can talk entirely over Reddit DMs, encrypted apps like Signal, or an audio-only call. You are in complete control of what you share and can stop the conversation at any point.
If you feel ready to share your story, or even just some reflections on how you've coped with these dynamics, please send me a DM (to protect your privacy, feel free to message me directly instead of commenting).
Thank you for your time, your vulnerability, and for helping shed light on a conversation that happens behind too many closed doors.